Wednesday, October 12, 2011
love, death
I fell in love with a once dying boy. He lived to be a young man, and he made me laugh. He touched me gently and whispered softly. He reminded me to live in the moment, and enjoy every minute of it. He inspired me to try things I never had before, and love myself and other completely. There is no future. But perhaps that is most fitting...
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Gut Instinct
I have always had pretty good intuition. I don't always follow it, or listen to it, but it's usually there, and it's usually accurate. I have recently learned that sometimes we have feelings for particular reasons, those reasons are usually a symptom of something else. It is not a good idea to ignore your feelings about something, otherwise it's just like ignoring the symptoms. Ignoring symptoms does not make the problem go away. Every issue has a deeper meaning, evey intereaction has a deeper meaning. It takes practice to discover that meaning on a daily basis. However I think it's vitally important in all our interactions, to resolve to discover, learn about, come to terms with, share our deeper meanings, becuase in that is the greater understanding I think.
What I have learned is that we are all learning, we are all a work in progress, till our dying minute really. Our society has these social rules and norms that are supposed to be adhered to otherwise you are blacklisted and outcasted. I think that this is a very ingriguing phenomenon because it's almost like humans have to police themselves. It's like we need a set of rules and regulations to follow, if we don't we feel lost generally. I think guidlines are important, I do, but I do think that social norms can certainly be taken too far. I think that we have to allow some time and space for the changing of the psyche, if we don't we don't evolve, if we don't evolve- we die--at least an emotional, psychological, spiritual death.
Some concepts/practices that I have learned to be essential to survival and healthy well-being are: patience, acceptance, understanding, forgiveness and flexibility. I strive to be all of these things with every person I know, because the minute I am not is the minute I experience pain, suffering, and disillusionment.
I am not the best person in the world. I am not the most enlightened one. I am not even the best practiced one. I am different (I don't want to say "flawed" because again, what is that exactly? something is only "flawed" as compared to something else, and all of that is really based on an arbitrary set of laws right?) My difference is my humanity because in that difference I have opportunity to learn and grow. Ideally my gut instinct or intuition would help me do this, or at least aid in the gaining of wisdom.
I have been reminded to be more aware. I have been reminded to trust myself. I have been reminded to be the best that i can be in all moments and let the road lead me to where it will.
What I have learned is that we are all learning, we are all a work in progress, till our dying minute really. Our society has these social rules and norms that are supposed to be adhered to otherwise you are blacklisted and outcasted. I think that this is a very ingriguing phenomenon because it's almost like humans have to police themselves. It's like we need a set of rules and regulations to follow, if we don't we feel lost generally. I think guidlines are important, I do, but I do think that social norms can certainly be taken too far. I think that we have to allow some time and space for the changing of the psyche, if we don't we don't evolve, if we don't evolve- we die--at least an emotional, psychological, spiritual death.
Some concepts/practices that I have learned to be essential to survival and healthy well-being are: patience, acceptance, understanding, forgiveness and flexibility. I strive to be all of these things with every person I know, because the minute I am not is the minute I experience pain, suffering, and disillusionment.
I am not the best person in the world. I am not the most enlightened one. I am not even the best practiced one. I am different (I don't want to say "flawed" because again, what is that exactly? something is only "flawed" as compared to something else, and all of that is really based on an arbitrary set of laws right?) My difference is my humanity because in that difference I have opportunity to learn and grow. Ideally my gut instinct or intuition would help me do this, or at least aid in the gaining of wisdom.
I have been reminded to be more aware. I have been reminded to trust myself. I have been reminded to be the best that i can be in all moments and let the road lead me to where it will.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
7th Period
okay so 7th period is gonna be the death of me. I am pretty sure the 4 most mouthy kids in the entire school are in this class period. I try for about the first 10 minutes after that I get frustrated and give up. So yesterday one says to me "I hate you! I hate subs, I wish you and every teacher would just go to hell and die!" then today I have one say " what do you think you're doing? where the hell is your essay? I am not fucking writing one--let's just see you fucking make me!" I've got another bragging about how he got in a drunken fight with some 20 year old, and got stiches in his hand from where the guys teeth went through. I've got another one bragging about having sex with boys, getting prego and "poppin one out". half the school has gone to state, so I will be lucky if one single person actually finishes their essay the way they were supposed to.
I seem to be a magnet for the rough classes, cause next week I am doing two days in a row of rough (not same place though) and the week after that signed up for more rough. :( it's actually better working at the shelter, they need you so they are nice to you :) I wonder what next year will bring, probably (and hopefully) a whole new set of challenges...
I seem to be a magnet for the rough classes, cause next week I am doing two days in a row of rough (not same place though) and the week after that signed up for more rough. :( it's actually better working at the shelter, they need you so they are nice to you :) I wonder what next year will bring, probably (and hopefully) a whole new set of challenges...
Quotes to Contemplate
From Buddha's Little Instruction Book by Jack Kornfield:
Love in the past is only a memory. Love in the future is a fantasy. Only here and now can we truly love.
Most of the sorrows of the earth humans cause for themselves.
Even loss and betrayal can bring us awakening.
Words have the power to destroy or heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change our world.
Our own worst enemy cannot harm us as much as our unwise thoughts. No one can help us as much as our own compassionate thoughts.
In one's family, respect and listening are the source of harmony.
Wherever you live is your temple if you treat it like one.
If you can't find the truth right where you are, where else do you think you will find it?
Spiritual life should include a great measure of common sense.
If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.
Good humored paitience is nescessary with mischievous children and your own mind.
Our sorrows and wounds are healed only when we touch them with compassion.
Everything in moderation, including moderation.
Joy comes not through possession or ownership but through a wise and loving heart.
If you do not care for eachother, who will you care for?
When Leading, be generous with the community, honorable in action, sincere in your words. As for the rest, do not be concerned.
No mattter how difficult the past, you can always begin again today.
Not getting what you desire, and getting what you desire can both be disappointing.
Like the mother of the world, touch each being as your beloved child.
Learn to let go. That is the key to happiness.
Just as a snake sheds its skin, we must shed our past over and over again.
In life we cannot avoid change, we cannot avoid loss. Freedom and happiness are found in the flexibility and eas with which we move through change.
Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most.
Imagine that every person in the world is enlightened but you. They are all your teachers, each doing just the right things to help you learn perfect patience, perfect wisdom, perfect compassion.
Forgiveness is primarily for our own sake, so taht we no longer carry the burden of resentment. But to forgive does not mean we will allow injustice again.
We inter-breathe with the rain forests, we drink from the oceans. They are part of our own body.
Do not seek perfection in a changing world. Instead, perfect your love.
Simplicity brings more happiness than complexity.
A day spent judging another is a painful day. A day spent judging yourself is a painful day. You don't have to believe your judgements; they're simply and old habit.
At the bottom of things, most people want to be understood and appreciated.
If you let cloudy water settle it will become clear. If you let your upset mind settle, your course will also become clear.
May I be filled with loving kindness.
May I be well.
May I be peaceful and at ease.
May I be happy.
Love in the past is only a memory. Love in the future is a fantasy. Only here and now can we truly love.
Most of the sorrows of the earth humans cause for themselves.
Even loss and betrayal can bring us awakening.
Words have the power to destroy or heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change our world.
Our own worst enemy cannot harm us as much as our unwise thoughts. No one can help us as much as our own compassionate thoughts.
In one's family, respect and listening are the source of harmony.
Wherever you live is your temple if you treat it like one.
If you can't find the truth right where you are, where else do you think you will find it?
Spiritual life should include a great measure of common sense.
If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.
Good humored paitience is nescessary with mischievous children and your own mind.
Our sorrows and wounds are healed only when we touch them with compassion.
Everything in moderation, including moderation.
Joy comes not through possession or ownership but through a wise and loving heart.
If you do not care for eachother, who will you care for?
When Leading, be generous with the community, honorable in action, sincere in your words. As for the rest, do not be concerned.
No mattter how difficult the past, you can always begin again today.
Not getting what you desire, and getting what you desire can both be disappointing.
Like the mother of the world, touch each being as your beloved child.
Learn to let go. That is the key to happiness.
Just as a snake sheds its skin, we must shed our past over and over again.
In life we cannot avoid change, we cannot avoid loss. Freedom and happiness are found in the flexibility and eas with which we move through change.
Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most.
Imagine that every person in the world is enlightened but you. They are all your teachers, each doing just the right things to help you learn perfect patience, perfect wisdom, perfect compassion.
Forgiveness is primarily for our own sake, so taht we no longer carry the burden of resentment. But to forgive does not mean we will allow injustice again.
We inter-breathe with the rain forests, we drink from the oceans. They are part of our own body.
Do not seek perfection in a changing world. Instead, perfect your love.
Simplicity brings more happiness than complexity.
A day spent judging another is a painful day. A day spent judging yourself is a painful day. You don't have to believe your judgements; they're simply and old habit.
At the bottom of things, most people want to be understood and appreciated.
If you let cloudy water settle it will become clear. If you let your upset mind settle, your course will also become clear.
May I be filled with loving kindness.
May I be well.
May I be peaceful and at ease.
May I be happy.
Friday, February 19, 2010
The Emotional, Intellectual, Spiritual G SPOT
Sex is how I relax. Sex is how I connect. I am a sexual being, so much so I probably have a disorder. However, anybody that knows anything about sex will tell you it is nothing if the rest of you isn't engaged in some way. Sex is better when your emotional, intellectual and spiritual needs are met.
To me, when those needs are being met it's like a cosmic orgasm. What I crave more than anything at this point in time is intellectual intercourse. A way to connect beyond the everyday routines. To dream of impossiblities, inspire idiosyncratic behavior, flex my mental muscles, survey sites unseen in the depths of my soul. Satisfy my cravings for a greater purpose, a greater audience, and link kindered spirits. I could go on and on, there is so much needed, desired, and dreamed of, maybe one blog at a time I'll unravel it all. Anybody interested in my mystery?
To me, when those needs are being met it's like a cosmic orgasm. What I crave more than anything at this point in time is intellectual intercourse. A way to connect beyond the everyday routines. To dream of impossiblities, inspire idiosyncratic behavior, flex my mental muscles, survey sites unseen in the depths of my soul. Satisfy my cravings for a greater purpose, a greater audience, and link kindered spirits. I could go on and on, there is so much needed, desired, and dreamed of, maybe one blog at a time I'll unravel it all. Anybody interested in my mystery?
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